At an early age the cinema provided a short lived suspension of disbelief and the opportunity to live vicariously through the enormous people made with shimmering light on a "silver" (it's really white) screen. No matter how bad the film you could lose yourself for around 90 minutes in a darkened room with a scattering of strangers and the smell of stale popcorn. There were no cellular phones and often very few patrons, in fact matinees in the 1980's were sometimes special screenings just for me, as often I would find myself the only person in the cinema. From about the age of 7 years old, this is how I spent many a Christmas school holidays, catching a bus into the Central City and then going to a film. Although limited to seeing, what on occasion could only be described as terrible films (Hot toTrot, and several Police Academy films inclusive), the ratings system seemed to be respected and adhered to. And one thing was clear, with the exception of a few Jaffas, Snifters or Tangy fruits rolling down the wooden aisle (yip, some cinemas didn't even have carpeting) there was no talking.
Fast forward to 2014, I find myself in the cinema early on a
Sunday morning to see Guardians of the Galaxy, which in New Zealand is an M
Rated film. The M rating is explain thusly:
| M | Suitable for Mature Audiences 16 and over (but still unrestricted). Possible descriptors: Anti-social behaviour; Horror scenes; Scenes of cruelty; Offensive language; Violence; Sex scenes; Violence and offensive language; Violence, offensive language and sex scenes.  |
So it makes me question why I had to endure this film with two constant talking Primary (Elementary) aged children a row behind us? But more to the point, where is the respect for the other movies goers, all of whom are now spending $18.50 (per adult ticket - for a NON 3D film). The father of these children did nothing to dissuade or discourage their constant nattering, which was never at a whisper but always in competition with the volume of the film. BUT I'm THAT person, I eventually turned around, and without wanting to be rude to the children (because they've not been taught better), I directed my comment at the father, which was tame and something along the lines of "Seriously Dad, can you please rein them in!". From this point on, it was loud talking children closely followed by a loud 'Shhhh' from Dad, I effectively made it worse.
Often films will be ruined by the conversations of other patrons,
this is something we are seemingly now forced to endure (it would seem) and have
to tolerate, because I like everyone else paid $18.50 to listen to someone else's conversation. Conversations can range from, "Absolutely nothing to
do with the film", to "I've just been to the toilet so I need you to
tell me what I've missed and subsequent running commentary as I continue to miss the
film as you explain it to me", or my personal least favourite "I'm
going to repeat what I just saw because movies are a visual medium and it's
clear no one else is watching". But the cinema experience is not limited
to just conversations between people IN the cinema, it's also privy, on
occasion, for people to answer their phone (YES even with those public service announcement pre-film clips about phones). Of course there are other outside
influences, such as the seat kicker, and the people who purchase food
from the supermarket to eat during the film, you know the ones, finding their way into
what is obviously a child proof plastic shopping bag before doling out
additionally noisy packeted foods. The cinema's themselves are just as bad
often selling foods which are in noisy packaging and more recently doing their
part for the environment with those extra noisy but easily crushed water bottles
which only need to be glanced with a finger to make a noise.
It becomes more and more obvious that movie cinema ticket prices are increased by the rental costs of the films from the studios (all working towards breaking box office records and recouping money and then plain and pure profiteering), this sees most theatres understaffed, poorly cleaned, and serving overpriced food and drinks. But I have to ask why the employee who entered three times (one of which found her wander almost to the front) during my screening, at no point do anything to stop the talking?
What can we, as cinema-goers, do to stop these vicious hate crimes?
1.) Don't talk - If you can't do this, wait until the film is available for rental, then talk through it to your hearts content in your own home!
2.) Turn off your phone or at least mute it!
3.) If you can't eat relatively quietly, DON'T EAT!
4.) Be THAT Guy/Gal, and say something!
5.) Illegally download films (joking)
6.) Go to a film toward the end of it's run, but not when I'm there.
7.) If you insist on taking small children, either go to a midnight screening (because you're already a shit parent) or go to the cry baby sessions!
What can the cinemas do?
A.) ENFORCE the ratings system!
B.) If someone looks like a complete c#^t, don't sell them a ticket!
C.) If you're so worried about pirating that you have employees entering a cinema during screenings, have the employee EJECT the noisy patrons!
D.) Teach your employees the skills required to do C, or have them get a manager to perform C.
E.) Don't force patrons to have to leave a cinema to get a manager mid film, because C AND D should be part of the provided service. Patrons are effectively renting a seat for the duration of a film which makes the on duty manager a landlord with the power to evict!
F.) Learn from THIS initiative!
It becomes more and more obvious that movie cinema ticket prices are increased by the rental costs of the films from the studios (all working towards breaking box office records and recouping money and then plain and pure profiteering), this sees most theatres understaffed, poorly cleaned, and serving overpriced food and drinks. But I have to ask why the employee who entered three times (one of which found her wander almost to the front) during my screening, at no point do anything to stop the talking?
What can we, as cinema-goers, do to stop these vicious hate crimes?
1.) Don't talk - If you can't do this, wait until the film is available for rental, then talk through it to your hearts content in your own home!
2.) Turn off your phone or at least mute it!
3.) If you can't eat relatively quietly, DON'T EAT!
4.) Be THAT Guy/Gal, and say something!
5.) Illegally download films (joking)
6.) Go to a film toward the end of it's run, but not when I'm there.
7.) If you insist on taking small children, either go to a midnight screening (because you're already a shit parent) or go to the cry baby sessions!
What can the cinemas do?
A.) ENFORCE the ratings system!
B.) If someone looks like a complete c#^t, don't sell them a ticket!
C.) If you're so worried about pirating that you have employees entering a cinema during screenings, have the employee EJECT the noisy patrons!
D.) Teach your employees the skills required to do C, or have them get a manager to perform C.
E.) Don't force patrons to have to leave a cinema to get a manager mid film, because C AND D should be part of the provided service. Patrons are effectively renting a seat for the duration of a film which makes the on duty manager a landlord with the power to evict!
F.) Learn from THIS initiative!
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
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